


The Name Game

by CaraLee



Category: Batman (Comics), Young Justice (Comics)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 19:07:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4533711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaraLee/pseuds/CaraLee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or: Five Times Someone Called Someone Else by the Wrong Name and One Time Batman Did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Name Game

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Quinis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quinis/gifts).



> Because Quinis and I were talking and decided that since people make conversational errors in real life someone should write a story about it happening.  
> Dedicated to the memory of Rojo, my inspiration and template for everything Ace the Bathound. You deserved to have books written about you but maybe this will suit in the meantime.You were something else.

I.

Jason felt that his nervousness was justifiable. It was the first time since the adoption that Dick had visited without everything devolving into a knock-down drag-out fight between him and Bruce within the first five minutes. They had even made it through most of dinner and Jason had noticed Alfred beginning to get a little tense around the mustache. He slumped in his chair. Seems like he wasn’t the only one who thought it was too good to last.

“Pass the butter please, Jason.” Jason looked up from his empty plate to say that he didn’t have the butter but Bruce wasn’t looking at him, he was looking straight at Dick and even as Jason watched, his face morphed into a mixture of confusion and embarrassment.

Storm clouds were beginning to gather on Dick’s own face, nearly masking the hurt, when Jason surprised even himself by snorting out a half-stifled laugh. Everyone stared at him (even Ace picked his head up from his paws) but no matter how hard he tried, Jason just couldn’t stop laughing. “Did,” he managed to gasp out. “Did _Batman_ just scramble our names?”

Bruce was looking just a little red and Alfred’s mustache twitched. Slowly, Dick began smiling, then snickering. Bruce just looked more and more embarrassed.

“My mom used to do that.” Dick said between giggles. “She called me John a few times, I’m still not sure if she meant my dad or my cousin.” He collapsed breathlessly onto the table-top. “The best was…was the time…she called me…” he gasped for breath. “Zitka.” And he dissolved into howls of laughter.

Jason joined him.

 

II.

Jason sidled closer and closer to the cookies cooling in the kitchen. Maybe, if he timed it just right-

A sharp disapproving voice told him he’d been caught. “Master Bruce-“

The look on Alfred’s face when he realized his mistake was worth having to polish the silverware. At least Ace kept him company.

 

III.

Bruce first realized something was going on when he emerged from the stairwell into the cave and heard laughter. Dick was visiting it seemed and from the sound of it Tim was down here with him. He passed Ace on the way to his locker, the old hound lifted his head in greeting but didn’t move otherwise. There were white hairs around his muzzle.

“It’s a lot like train surfing.” Tim was saying. “Only less insane because you are about 99% more likely to not die when you wipe out.”

“That’s assuming I wipe out.” Bruce recognized the cocky tone in Dick’s voice. It usually precluded his performance of yet another death-defying feat. He looked around the corner just in time to see Dick move a few wobbly feet on Tim’s skateboard. Tim was stifling laughter as Dick had some “close calls.” Bruce had known his former ward long enough to detect the fact that besides the first one, they were all faked. Tim was an excellent detective already but he was not as observant as he should be around people he knew and was comfortable with. He trusted too easily.

Dick hopped off the skateboard and threw his hands up as if he had performed a dismount. “Look, Ace! I did it!”

Beside Bruce, Ace lifted his head again at the sound of his name and Dick slapped a hand over his face, muttering loudly enough that they could all hear. “Tim. I meant Tim. First my mom, then Donna and Bruce, and now I’m doing it too.”

Tim was laughing as Dick lunged and pulled him into a noogie. Ace laid his head back down, satisfied that he was unneeded and his master was merely being strange again. It occurred to Bruce that he had never really seen Tim acting like the child he was. Not like this.

Batman swept out into the main part of the cave and Robin pulled away from Nightwing, the laughter falling away and his carefree demeanor shifting into attention. Batman approved but deep inside, a small part of Bruce Wayne thought he deserved Dick’s glare.

 

IV.

Tim was well used to working through distractions. His new team however, was proving to be a distraction of unforeseen proportions. They were currently engaged in a game of super-speed catch, which mostly consisted of Bart taking advantage of his, well, advantage and pegging Kon in the face as often as he could, Kon and Cassie flirting, and Kon attempting to pry (not literally, obviously) Tim away from his case files. All while the three of them were zipping around to different parts of the room with Bart talking so fast Tim wasn’t sure that _Wally_ would have been able to understand him.

“Rob, come on!” and once again he had an overgrown child (literally) hovering (also literally) over his shoulder whining at him. “You can do that later!”

Tim took a moment to remind himself that the Kryptonite in his utility belt was for emergency use only and that the current circumstances did not qualify as an emergency. An air displacement alerted him to Bart’s arrival and a small finger poked his side. “Hey! Rob! You should come! We-want-to-go-for-lunch-but-Cassie-saysweneedsupervisionanditsyourturn!”

“No, Kon! I need to finish this _now!”_ Tim whirled on the speedster only to find him blinking confusedly. Tim mentally ran over his words, groaned and dropped his head onto his desk. He could feel someone, big hands, so Kon, patting his back pseudo-comfortingly.

“There, there Rob.” His now ex-best friend crooned in his ear. “This just proves my point. You need a break from all this paper before you start calling Cassie, Bart, or me by your name. You’re rottin’ your brain. Let’s go get some real food, something not coffee.”

Tim decided not to resist as Kon threw him over his shoulder and flew out of the cave. It had been thirty-one hours since he last ate and food actually did sound a little appealing. Maybe he could drown his embarrassment as he kept Bart from eating twenty pizzas in two seconds in public.

 

V.

Cassandra decided that she liked the books that Dick recommended to her. She had found Grimm’s fairytales interesting and was now reading a volume of stories by Hans Christian Anderson. The way that Anderson put meanings at the end of some of his stories was interesting.

Barbara and Stephanie were next to one of the computers, working a new case. Barbara was teaching Stephanie how to be a detective. Cass smiled. Her Robin was Tim. He understood the evidence and she understood the people. That was how it worked. Evidence was interesting but it was hard.

She liked working with Tim and Barbara. They were good with evidence and didn’t mind that she wasn’t good with words. Steph was like that too but she was still learning about evidence.

They were talking again. Very fast so it was hard for Cass to follow what they were saying with words so she used their body language instead. Steph wanted to take a break and Barbara wanted them to keep working. This time Cass agreed with Steph. Barbara hasn’t slept in a long time. She’s having nightmares again. Cass thinks that she shouldn’t have broken up with Dick again. Even if they don’t always get to see each other often, Barbara is happier when they are “on again.” (That’s what Steph called it.) She remembers how happy Dick and Barbara were when they had been engaged. That needs to be fixed. Maybe Steph will help.

She catches one word out of the conversation. “Mom.” Steph called Barbara “mom”. She wasn’t being…sarcastic either. It was a real mistake. Steph is embarrassed but Barbara is laughing and agreeing to rest so Cass decides that everything is alright. Steph is good at convincing Barbara to do things. Cass will have to talk to her about Barbara and Dick tomorrow.

 

VI.

Commissioner Jim Gordon sighed into his pipe and leaned against the Bat-signal. It had been a long night already and it wasn’t even midnight yet.

“Commissioner.” It had been years since he had startled at Batman’s arrival, but the familiar growl was oh so familiar. Deeper than the voice he had begun to become accustomed to over the past year. The shape in the shadows, when he turned, was broader and taller. He chomped on his pipe to keep his smile from showing on his lips.

“Welcome back,” Jim nodded at him. As expected, the acknowledgement of the original Batman’s absence went ignored.

“You have questions about the Dalton case?”

Business as usual.

As they traded information back and forth, Jim watched the Dark Knight carefully. Most people wouldn’t have noticed, but something was off. He waited until it was his turn to impart information and asked “Are you alright?”

Batman growled a little. “I’m fine, Superman. Nothing is-” He froze a moment, then disappeared off the roof. Jim blinked after him. He hadn’t seen Batman that embarrassed since the first Robin showed up on this very roof in the short-pants for the first time.

Speaking of, he might need to talk to Nightwing about what was wrong with Batman. He’d heard that the younger vigilante had made a reappearance lately and was glad. The boy had been good for Batman and even Gotham but Batman had not been good for him.

Or maybe he should just try and contact Superman. It seems they had some concerns in common.


End file.
